Distraction...the good and bad.

The idea for writing this blog about distraction came to me while I was actively trying to distract myself. As I was walking, listening to music at an unhealthy volume on my headphones, it suddenly occurred to me that I was intentionally distracting myself from my crappy mood. This, of course, started a cascade of thoughts. Why do people seek distraction? Is distraction a good thing or a bad thing?

It seems that there is not a simple, definitive answer. As I have researched this a bit, it turns out that distraction is a little complicated. Sometimes it is a good thing, and sometimes it’s not so great for us, and that often depends on the situation.

Why do we opt to distract ourselves?

In general, it appears that the primary reason that we distract is because it helps us avoid feeling something. People don’t usually distract themselves from good feelings. Instead, we tend to distract only when we’re feeling the so-called negative emotions such as annoyance, anger, fear, or frustration. We don’t enjoy feeling lonely, unhappy, hurt, or shameful, so we will do anything to not feel those emotions. When we distract, we are often running from something uncomfortable; we are usually avoiding some feeling that we don’t like. Boredom, is often at the top of this list.

Of course, sometimes it is essential that we take a break, to shut down and turn off for a bit. We need to spend time reducing our stress, calming our anxiety. Perhaps we wish to step away from our routine, or the overwhelming feeling of too much work. Sometimes distraction can help break bad habits or addictions, or keep us safe from self-harm. Research shows that distraction can even help calm the nervous system. Relief, relaxation, rejuvenation...these are the positive aspects of distraction.

Unfortunately, most of us live our lives in an all-consuming state of distraction. Our modern society is literally built upon distractions. Amazon shopping…How many hours can we waste per week on this one website? We have hundreds (maybe thousands) of television channels that run 24-7. Almost all of us have smart phones shoved in our pocket and we are near-constantly online. What do we do with those phones Text silly memes. Most of us scroll mindlessly on social media. We play video games, listen to music, watch movies, waste five hours a day on YouTube, spend endless hours watching stupid dog videos…it goes on and on. There is literally a never-ending stream of fairly inane information for us to consume. I’m not judging you, I’m guilty too.  

Now, I’m no Luddite, lambasting technology. Quite the opposite; I love my technology as much as anyone (Please don’t take away my Spotify!) If I’m attacking anything, it is our tendency for unconscious distraction, not the technology itself. We have the internet literally in our pocket and our phones have tremendous power to inspire, connect, and educate. Unfortunately, we underutilize them…spending countless hours mindlessly distracting or avoiding.

Although distractions can help us to feel a little better in the moment, they often lead to a habit of avoidance which exacerbates problems in the long-run. The down-side of distraction is that it does not typically aid us in any significant way. In fact, distraction is commonly a barrier to problem-solving. It usually prevents us from finding answers because while distracted we do not have the presence of mine that is required for generating solutions. While distracted, we are not actually seeking understanding, looking for answers, or reaching for growth.

As a society, most of us live in a near-perpetual state of distraction that is alarming. We are not taking the time to intentionally tap in with what we’re thinking or feeling. We are not giving much consideration to our trajectory, we are not planning where we’re going.

Distraction prevents us from asking the most important questions. Who am I? Where am I? What am I? Why am I? Who do I truly want to be? What am I doing with this small instant of existence? I know, these are heavy questions. And most of them, difficult and/or impossible to answer. (Ok, way too philosophical for a weekend blog. I apologize.)  

Aside from preventing us from doing (pointless) deep philosophical dives, distraction can undermine us in more practical ways. We all know that texting while driving is a form of distraction that is potentially fatal, but there are other ways that distraction impairs us that are less obvious. For instance, there is plenty of data showing that distraction can easily become a habit that significantly reduces our ability to retain focus. Chronic distraction increases forgetfulness and actually causes a shorter attention span. It is associated with a loss of mental agility and the overall lowering of performance. Distraction impairs our communication with our loved ones and it also seems to be linked to lower self-esteem. From a therapist’s perspective, these last two are particularly detrimental.

So, what’s the takeaway? Simple really: own your distraction. Make it a choice, not a blind habit. At given times and in certain situations, distraction can serve a purpose and it can be healthy. But it is important to remember that distraction doesn’t do much to improve you or your life. It does not get to the root of a problem, or instigate any change. The best advice that I can offer is to simply try to be aware of when you are distracting; make it a choice, not an unconscious way of life.

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