Is therapy worth it?

This week in therapy…

During a consultation, a new client asked me, “Is it worth it? Is doing therapy worth it?” A little taken aback by this question, I paused a bit too long, and then hurriedly blurted out, “Yes, absolutely, yes!” This was not my finest moment. I had never actually been asked this question before so I wasn’t really prepared to answer it. As I am a therapist, and a passionate believer in the benefits of therapy, I don’t think I have ever deeply considered that other people might not be so sure of this process. I wish that at that moment, I hadn’t stumbled over myself. I wish I had a better, more thoughtful answer for this person seeking reassurance. Since this brief interaction, I have thought a lot about what I could have said.

‍

If I had to sum up the benefits of therapy in 1 simple sentence it would be this: The better you know yourself, the more control you have over your choices, your actions, and your life.

‍

Individual therapy has literally limitless possibilities for personal growth and change. There is absolutely nothing that cannot be tackled. Maybe you have depression, or chronic anxiety, or emotional regulation issues. Maybe you have really big feelings that overcome you, or maybe you underreact, are shut down, or avoid. Are you angry all the time, easily frustrated, feel overwhelmed?  Family of origin trauma always leaves an imprint and usually causes ongoing issues if it isn’t dealt with. Trauma, in general, seriously impacts people and can easily turn into debilitating PTSD. What about addictions? There are plenty to choose from: alcohol, drugs, prescription meds, sex, gambling, the internet, porn, shopping, food, exercise…we can struggle with unhealthy use of just about anything. Therapy can help with this too.

‍

Perhaps you don’t even know what is wrong. Maybe you just don’t feel right, your life just doesn’t seem to work out the way you want, maybe you just feel this nagging sense of unhappiness. Do you feel lost, not sure where you are going? Then again, you might know where you want to be but just can’t seem to get there. Perhaps you have low self-esteem and get caught up in crappy relationships that drain you of your vitality. The point is…there are so many ways that we can be stuck.

‍

Even with no family of origin issues or past trauma, people experience challenges in life that they could use some help with. No one escapes certain basic hardships in life. We all experience major life stressors, sickness, the challenges of aging, and the loss of loved ones. Most people experience feeling a bit lost at some point in their life. Everyone seems to have at least a few complicated relationships that are really difficult to manage. Therapy can be a tremendous help with processing common life challenges and identifying untapped strategies and resources.

‍

Perhaps your relationship is the major problem in your life. All couples have issues at times, but when they are truly stuck, or the relationship has become toxic, couples counseling can shift everything. Therapy can help partners improve their communication, improve their ability to negotiate, and increase problem-solving skills. Strengthening listening skills usually results in all parties feeling seen, heard, and understood. Therapy can help with parenting, or issues regarding the sharing of domestic burdens. Couples counseling can tackle just about anything: wounds, infidelity, sex and intimacy challenges, financial issues, or just feeling disconnected.

‍

Therapy can help with all of this, and more. Therapy is a path that leads to change. At its core, it is a decision to intentionally tackle your problems. The truth is, ignoring, or avoiding problems usually makes them worse. Avoidance typically compounds issues and results in making the challenges more complicated. Therapy is a process of focus, discovery, and deepening understanding. We generally have to be able to clearly identify problems in order to be able to find solutions for them. Therapy creates the opportunity for this clarification. It ignites understanding about who you are and why you are the way you are. Therapy can help you identify who you really want to be and it can illuminate the path for how to become the best version of you. Therapy is not easy. It is an investment of time, focus, and money. It takes courage and commitment. It can be emotionally uncomfortable…but it can be transformational. So, yes. Absolutely Yes! Therapy is worth it.

‍